It's 3am. Darkness prevails in my room.Tears rolling down my cheeks and his words "It's over. I am bored of you now. I don't love you now, or maybe I never loved you",still echoing in my ears.
I am sobbing while tightening my grip on the pillow.
The night passes by like this.
It's day now.I get up. Mom sees my red puffy eyes and ask "What happened, did you cry last night?"
"No,Mom why would I cry?" I fake a smile .It's my first lie.
I get ready for office without speaking to anyone. My sister finds it odd because I am the most talkative person according to her . She shouts from the dining table "Why are you so silent, idiot?"
"I am sleepy" I say making a childish face . It's my second lie.
I collect my wallet, handbag and my cellphone.I decide to walk to office.
I am lost in memories. They are overpowering me. I don't realise the sun's heat today. I somehow reach office, my colleague ask
"Hey, you look sick, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, all good, just tired." I say faking a smile . Third lie I count in my head.
I spend whole day at office without talking to anyone just working at the computer screen.
It's time to leave. I walk back home , lost in thoughts with a heart shattered still missing him and his love.
I reach home to see the dining table loaded with my favourite dishes.
I don't care to look at it.
"Di, I made this all for you" My sister smiles.
I smile back and manage to say
"I just ate sandwiches and I am so full" and come into my room without realising that I broke my sister's heart.
I lie down on my bed, and tears start rolling. I sob for half an hour when my mom knocks on the door " what happened baby?" She asks worried.
"I don't know" I scream.
Within a minute my bestie calls i pick up the phone and she says
"he broke your heart but you did the same to your sister. How can you? ; Now come downstairs right now." She disconnects the call.
I wash my face look into the mirror and ask myself
"Who are you lying to? Your sister, your mom,your best friend who love you more than anything .You are breaking their hearts,the same way he broke yours".
I go downstairs and before they say anything I pick up the pasta bowl and start eating while they look at my sudden change.
They all look at each other and with my mouth full of pasta I manage to say "I was fooling you all so you can remain shocked till I finish this alone".
I lie this time too but for people who truly love me because I cannot afford to break hearts of the ones who truly love me.
My heart's still aching. My soul's still hurt . I miss his love . I love him and he doesn't or he never did, but the smiles on their faces is healing me.
"You'll be fine.Just know that you are loved by us truly". My best friend texts me without looking at me directly.
And this time I smile truly not a fake one. "I love you all". I text back, not a lie this time.
"No,Mom why would I cry?" I fake a smile .It's my first lie.
I get ready for office without speaking to anyone. My sister finds it odd because I am the most talkative person according to her . She shouts from the dining table "Why are you so silent, idiot?"
"I am sleepy" I say making a childish face . It's my second lie.
I collect my wallet, handbag and my cellphone.I decide to walk to office.
I am lost in memories. They are overpowering me. I don't realise the sun's heat today. I somehow reach office, my colleague ask
"Hey, you look sick, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, all good, just tired." I say faking a smile . Third lie I count in my head.
I spend whole day at office without talking to anyone just working at the computer screen.
It's time to leave. I walk back home , lost in thoughts with a heart shattered still missing him and his love.
I reach home to see the dining table loaded with my favourite dishes.
I don't care to look at it.
"Di, I made this all for you" My sister smiles.
I smile back and manage to say
"I just ate sandwiches and I am so full" and come into my room without realising that I broke my sister's heart.
I lie down on my bed, and tears start rolling. I sob for half an hour when my mom knocks on the door " what happened baby?" She asks worried.
"I don't know" I scream.
Within a minute my bestie calls i pick up the phone and she says
"he broke your heart but you did the same to your sister. How can you? ; Now come downstairs right now." She disconnects the call.
I wash my face look into the mirror and ask myself
"Who are you lying to? Your sister, your mom,your best friend who love you more than anything .You are breaking their hearts,the same way he broke yours".
I go downstairs and before they say anything I pick up the pasta bowl and start eating while they look at my sudden change.
They all look at each other and with my mouth full of pasta I manage to say "I was fooling you all so you can remain shocked till I finish this alone".
I lie this time too but for people who truly love me because I cannot afford to break hearts of the ones who truly love me.
My heart's still aching. My soul's still hurt . I miss his love . I love him and he doesn't or he never did, but the smiles on their faces is healing me.
"You'll be fine.Just know that you are loved by us truly". My best friend texts me without looking at me directly.
And this time I smile truly not a fake one. "I love you all". I text back, not a lie this time.
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